


when he touches you

by lesbianryuko (ashisverymuchonfire)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dragon Age II - Act 2, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Poetry, Touch Aversion, Touching, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 04:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18045464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashisverymuchonfire/pseuds/lesbianryuko
Summary: it’s different when he touches you.





	when he touches you

**Author's Note:**

> fenhawke-inspired poem i wrote for a college class examining fenris’s initial reaction wrt The Scene in act 2 (key word: _initial_ )

it’s different when he touches you.  
he is kindness and warmth  
fingers like [little] wisps of light  
soft and gentle on your skin  
his lips tracing the markings you hate  
from your neck to your chest  
and you think he’s made you love them,  
at least for tonight.  
   
when he touches you  
you don’t fight back—  
there is nothing to fight.  
for once in your life  
there is no need to fight.  
but you are a [wolf]  
and all you know is violence  
so when he touches [you]  
you expect it to hurt.  
   
when he touches you  
it is not against your will  
and you [don’t] hate him for it—  
in fact, it may well be the opposite  
but that is a thought that scares you  
more than the demons do.  
   
when he touches you  
it crackles and pops  
like a fireplace, a hearth,  
and you’re both sweating  
and you can’t tell whose is whose—  
but all that matters is that  
you are a man as he is a man  
and that’s all your scarred hands  
[need] to know.  
   
when he touches you  
there is no fear  
there is no bitterness  
there is no hate.  
when his eyes gleam,  
it’s with love,  
not wickedness.  
   
you remember your life before—  
you remember your master tugging your hair  
you remember his ugly, gnarled hands  
like claws ripping you open  
and seeing everything inside you.  
you remember the filthy things he called you  
and the filthier things he did [to] you  
he kept you chained and leashed like a pet  
and planted hatred in your heart  
like a weed that he watered  
every time he said your name.  
   
you remember when you thought to [run]  
and you let your legs carry you  
as far as they could go  
so he couldn’t hurt you [anymore]  
and now you look over your shoulder  
more often than you blink  
because fear still rules you,  
dear wolf,  
and you know it.  
   
but you met someone new  
and it’s different when he touches you  
because he makes you feel like  
not an object but a man  
it’s different when he touches you  
because it is not a clutching grip  
but a tender caress  
   
and it is different when he touches you  
because for the first time in your life  
it doesn’t fill you with terror.  
for the first time in your life  
you don’t feel like running.


End file.
